I am one of the very few Australians living in Saint Petersburg, Russia. My most substantial contribution to the internet is translating a three word temporary tattoo from Keanu Reeves’ back.*
To your right is a picture of me posing, unshaven and wildly unkempt after a week at sea. In the background you can see a German philosopher’s name affixed to a street, on a Spanish Island, itself off the coast of Africa.
It was taken, and tinkered with, by my wife. She thinks she did a good job of capturing what she (endearingly) mistakes for beauty. However, such is the human condition, she fears that she captured my dashing good looks too well, and is tormented by her success. Truly the Doctor Frankenstein of Instagram. She wants me to remind the you (specifically) that I am married. To her. She assures me that she is not a jealous person, but wants you to know that she very much is. Also, that she: is prone to “a bit of the old ultra-violence”; owns a bow and arrow and knows how to use it.
The rest of this page is a business card for a non-business-person — An unbusiness card if you will — and being so, a comprehensive list of my contact details follow, but, it does not follow that they can be relied upon for a timely response, except by phone-call.
I love getting letters from people. You can also send other things including, but not limited to: Post-cards, books, human corpses, world domination plans scribbled on bar-napkins, ducklings and/or Pizza (Pepperoni with extra Jalapeño).
You could even visit: I recommend mid-Autumn.
- Гриффин, Б. Дж.,
Ул. Гаванская д.36 кв. 19
But you’re not going to write that out, so, in Latin characters address:
- BENJAMIN G. GRIFFIN
GAVANSKAYA UL. D.36 – K.19
RUSSIAN FEDERATION 199406
** ALL CAPS if sending by post is best, as the Russian Post (Почта Россия) is notorious for losing letters up to 40 years.
- On Google Maps, so you can save me in there before visiting, for Uber say … or, you know, to stalk me.
Phone and Video Calls, SMS and Chat via Messenger(s)
You can Call while people are still doing that.
+7 (981) 773-12-47 is my mobile, here in Russia.
- This number will also work for free text/calls/video calls from the ever growing list of phone-app messengers, most of which I have: I prefer Signal to Telegram or Wire for secure messages, and you should too. Those of you living in the dark ages, unworried about privacy can use Viber & Whatsapp, same number.
- Skype me at ‘benggriffin’.
- Facebook Messenger is also fine, perhaps even the most reliable way to get me, but if we’re already facebook friends, you already know that.
- 02 6176 1313 is a landline in Australia that redirects to my phone, via Skype.
- 0413 013 357 is an Australian mobile number, if you really must text. I will respond if your SMS warrants the A$1.20 return cost that Optus extorts. If you call, I will not answer unless it’s life or death, again due to Optus’ highway robbery. If it is life or death, then why have you read this much!?!?? Call already! It will work! You will be my first one so I may answer out of sheer surprise and overwhelming curiosity!
All that said, do get in touch!
Yours with only mild discouragement,
Benjamin George Griffin
24th April 2017
P.S. If you click around here too much (principally the black square in the top right) you’ll inevitably find some things that I (now) find cloyingly earnest and embarrassing. There is a collection of poetry (written exclusively by other people) which is quite good; some half decent translations by myself; and, some of my writing… Some of which is so bad that it shouldn’t even be read for the purpose of being deleted. That said, There was one piece, a rant, that once had very minor popularity (three thousand odd views, not that i keep track,) this probably because of all the swearing (which started in the title.) The slightly more popular thing I’ve written is on Quora, about something dear to my heart– how to start reading philosophy (19 thousand people have read it, somewhat amazingly.) Hopefully some of them actually bought Jostein Gaarder’s “Sophie’s World” and Bertrand Russell’s “History of Philosophy.” Which leaves the most read thing I’ve written: A translation of a three word tattoo featured on the back of Keanu Reeves’ character in the eponymously titled ‘John Wick’. About 155 thousand people glanced at it as of today… Lets all cross our fingers and pray that my legacy wasn’t three words of a temporary tattoo on your back, Keanu. FML
So, It is what it is. I’ve come to consider all these byways a graveyard for both my prose and poetry. “All hope abandon ye who enter here”?